Ordered Steps

I stepped onto the treadmill this morning, stuffed my earbuds in, cranked the speed up as high as my aching hips and knees could tolerate, and tapped the play button on my 95.9 The Ranch app.  Parker McCollum is singing his hit song "Hell of a Year".

No kidding.  I looked around the garage to see if some extraterrestrial DJ was running the show.  In all honesty, I've been thinking about Dec. 22 for weeks and trying to organize the most important thoughts to include in this post to mark that Cancer Call that many of my kin and friends know too well.

Here are some things I did not know one year ago...

• Cancer has touched almost every living human being on the planet.
• Breast cancer survivors are everywhere. So many women in my personal world and my school world have suffered.
• Once I was "called",  I was powerless.

Here are some things I learned this year...

• The Supreme Being, God Almighty, ordered the steps of my life from the time my mother and her sister, Bobbye, gave birth to two girls one month and one day apart.
• He allowed me to wander sort of like the Israelites until He delivered me by way of a soulmate who would love me unconditionally and in sickness and in health for real.
• He ordered the steps of Harry & Carron Brown through the doors of Texstar Ford, bringing me not only a spiritual port in this storm but an Angel to light the way for me through this journey of surgeries and doctors.
• He ordered the steps of His people.  They came into my life in droves from places I've never even been.  They came physically.  They came spiritually.  Cara Wilson came from Ovid, Colorado.  Kirk Matthews prayed relentlessly from Paris, Texas.  Praying people, many of whom I have yet to meet, whispered my name to The Father until it must have been thunderous in His ears!
• None of the things I learned are important like this one:  The decision to be washed in The Blood was the only step that mattered.

One night after I was home but still confined to my recliner, Cara Wilson shared a link to a song that I can only describe as my battle cry.  Everyone needs a battle cry.  You may not know it yet, but if you walk this earth very long you'll need one.  I posted the words in this blog a few months ago.

Tenth Avenue North sings, "I Have This Hope in the depth of my soul.  In the flood or the fire, You're with me and you won't let go."

It's a take on God's promise to Jacob in Isaiah 43 where he tells Jacob, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you;  I have called you by your name; You are Mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." 

This feeling of safety is familiar to me.  I remember where I was when Mama Ruth died.  Menielle and I had been sent to Bamo and Dandy's house in San Angelo to stay while our mom's took care of their mother.  When the phone call came I remember the both of us climbing up into the recliner with Dandy.  We were 10ish, so that chair was full. John Petty put his big arms around us and just held us.

The message for me is that my strength does not matter.  Even when I can't hold on, it's God's strength we're talking about here. 

And that, my friends, is infinite.

Today, I'm praying for the sweet family of William and Cori Moore, and for the comfort and peace of Deborah & Barney.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Jodie

Sunshine in My Soul

Just leaving the oncologists office after hearing reports from the genomic testing and bone density test. "NO benefit to be gained from chemotherapy" is the word! Only 7% chance of recurrence over 10 years.

I'll start estrogen blocker therapy with a daily pill and checkups every 3 months once we know there are no intolerable side effects.  I'll just consider those hot flashes the direct result of sunshine in my soul!  💝☀️

"The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail.They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, therefore I have hope in Him.” Lamentations 3:22-24

Clearing Skies

This morning's bone density test was the LAST scan in this parade of tests & scans!  I'm confident that starting the estrogen blocker on Feb. 28 will be the equivalent of Happy Trails for this ride we've been on since December.

Somewhere in the echo of our shouts of thanksgiving is a nagging question:  Why not me, Lord? Why was I spared the rage of this disease and its treatment while others we love are facing much worse?

I don't know the answer.  I only know that I have a new understanding of fear and doubt and what it takes to conquer them.  May we never forget all the things people have done for us and the thunder of prayer on my behalf.  May we never miss an opportunity to lift up someone else.  May I never forget the depth of committment and love of my family & friends - especially from Lawton and Menielle.

I believe God's plan for me is to show someone else that He is the safe harbor in the eye of the storm.

From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for your prayers, love and care!

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you Peace."  Numbers 6:24-26

Answered Prayers

"If you abide in Me, and My words, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." ~ John 15:7

We met today with the oncologist to talk about the possibility of chemotherapy to follow the mastectomy and removal of lymph nodes two weeks ago.  Dr. Bartosh wants a special test to predict the chance of recurrence before she will sign off, but we are 95% certain that chemotherapy will NOT be our next step.

After a bone density test, Dr. Bartosh is most likely to prescribe estrogen blocking medicine which will keep any other tumors like mine from forming and growing.  I can't say I look forward to all that this protocol will bring, but I know prayers have been answered in a mighty way.

I plan to return to work at the end of next week.  I'm hoping Amy will adopt a new pajama policy so I can continue my current style of dress.

If nothing rips or tears, Feb. 28 will be the end of this faith-building chapter in our lives, and we will have only a few checkups left to tie up loose ends.  And then we will begin to pay it forward in whatever way God shows us.

Your prayers are sustaining us and showing us the light of Christ in each of you.

I Have This Hope

Yesterday was a full day for us (well, mostly for me since Lawton doesn't have to stop and sit down every 15 steps).  I had a checkup with Dr. Habash, and my new friend Sarah Jo (the P.A.) removed the one remaining incision drain that came home from the hospital with me.  It was like being let off my leash!  Not that I could run very far afterwards, but it signified big progress!

Next Thursday morning, I'll go back to Dr. Habash's office to remove the last cover from the major incision across my tummy and start some therapy to minimize the scar while it heals completely.  That same afternoon, I have an appointment with an oncologist who will (hopefully) sign off on the "no chemotherapy needed" part of God's plan for me.  In the meantime, I'll try to regain my strength and stamina by walking farther each day with the goal of going back to work uppermost in my mind.

There seems to be no end to the kindness of our family and friends as meals, cards, flowers and visits keep coming.  To say we are humbled and eternally greatful would be such an understatement.

We continue to ask for God's favor in good reports, and today we ask that you add Taylor & Shea Smith's twin newborn boys to your list as they gain strength and health. Our cousin, Susan Draper, is also in need of your prayers after spinal surgery in Houston.  I know there are so many other needs in our circle of friends and family.  Just know that we are returning the favor you've so kindly done for us in offering our prayers for those needs.

I made a new friend while walking through this "fire" called cancer.  Cara Wilson inspires me to hope and turn my face toward the sun God gives me each day.  She turned her loss into a ministry of helping people like me.  And help me she has...

Faith and Family Give Ranch Manager Strength to Fight Cancer

Last night Cara posted a link to this song...I imagine her face and the faces of her children while I listen to the words.

I Have This Hope - Tenth Avenue North

10,000 Reasons To Be Thankful

Almost one full week past surgery date, the news we got today from Dr. Kent is that all three lymph nodes removed for biopsy during the surgery are clear of cancer cells.  Although I have to see an oncologist to make the official ruling about chemotherapy, we do not anticipate anything but concurrence from her about this report.

And since all the personality-enhancing drugs are gone from my system, I got my posting privileges back!  

You'll be glad to know that I am a newly-certified expert on ridding cats from your hospital room should you have the same feline invasion that I did.  I am only dependable (reportedly) to tell half of a great story without interrupting it for a quick nap.  I've elevated at least one of my friends to the status of dear friend after subjecting him to a bout of sudden puking.

Wednesday's checkup with Dr. Habash, the plastic surgeon, will hopefully rid me of the drain tube in my largest incision.  It will also relieve Lawton of constantly asking "where you goin'?" every time I try to stand up without help.  It's a good thing Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!

I'm counting the meals, visits, cards, calls, emails, hugs and prayers...and I truly do have 10,000 reasons to be thankful.  About 1,000 of those reasons are bundled up in my stalwart, patient, constant, kind, loving husband.  Where, oh where, would I be if life brought me cancer before God brought me you?

10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord) - David Wesley

DONE (post by guest blogger, Menielle)!

I am a day late posting about our day yesterday.  Getting the blog updated was NOT our priority yesterday.

Lawton, Jodie, Harry & Carron Brown, Cori & I arrived at the hospital at 5 am.  We all got to go back with her while she got her IV, etc.  We circled up & Harry said a sweet prayer for Jodie AND all those that would be caring for her during her surgery.

Surgery started about 7:15.  Dr. Kent (surgeon) came out about 9:45 to tell us that her part of the surgery was complete.  She told us they removed 2 lymph nodes that appear to be clear.  They will be sending them in just to double check, We were THRILLED by that news.  Even though that's what everyone anticipated, it was a sweet reality!  Dr. Habash (plastic surgeon) came out a few minutes before 11 to say that he was finished.  He also gave a good report.  He was able to complete his reconstruction part of the surgery completely, so she should not have to have any further surgeries done.

Prayers of thanksgiving were said (in the waiting room AND around the country)!

A great crowd of friends & family gathered in the waiting room.  Lawton took this picture of the well-wishers.

She was in recovery for about 1.5 hours then on to a room in the Women's Hospital.  Doctor came back by to check on Jodie & said things were looking good.  Nurses came in each hour to check incisions, change dressing, etc.

Before the day's end, they had her sitting up in a chair for about 30 minutes & she got some a tray of clear liquids & a popsicle (not exactly what she wanted, but it's all they'd give her).

There were some funny moments as she was waking up from anesthesia, but we promised not to share everything...& I'm going to keep my word.  Be assured, the ever-present sense of humor was left completely intact.

All in all, we are calling it a good day.  And now...let the HEALING begin!!