Ordered Steps

I stepped onto the treadmill this morning, stuffed my earbuds in, cranked the speed up as high as my aching hips and knees could tolerate, and tapped the play button on my 95.9 The Ranch app.  Parker McCollum is singing his hit song "Hell of a Year".

No kidding.  I looked around the garage to see if some extraterrestrial DJ was running the show.  In all honesty, I've been thinking about Dec. 22 for weeks and trying to organize the most important thoughts to include in this post to mark that Cancer Call that many of my kin and friends know too well.

Here are some things I did not know one year ago...

• Cancer has touched almost every living human being on the planet.
• Breast cancer survivors are everywhere. So many women in my personal world and my school world have suffered.
• Once I was "called",  I was powerless.

Here are some things I learned this year...

• The Supreme Being, God Almighty, ordered the steps of my life from the time my mother and her sister, Bobbye, gave birth to two girls one month and one day apart.
• He allowed me to wander sort of like the Israelites until He delivered me by way of a soulmate who would love me unconditionally and in sickness and in health for real.
• He ordered the steps of Harry & Carron Brown through the doors of Texstar Ford, bringing me not only a spiritual port in this storm but an Angel to light the way for me through this journey of surgeries and doctors.
• He ordered the steps of His people.  They came into my life in droves from places I've never even been.  They came physically.  They came spiritually.  Cara Wilson came from Ovid, Colorado.  Kirk Matthews prayed relentlessly from Paris, Texas.  Praying people, many of whom I have yet to meet, whispered my name to The Father until it must have been thunderous in His ears!
• None of the things I learned are important like this one:  The decision to be washed in The Blood was the only step that mattered.

One night after I was home but still confined to my recliner, Cara Wilson shared a link to a song that I can only describe as my battle cry.  Everyone needs a battle cry.  You may not know it yet, but if you walk this earth very long you'll need one.  I posted the words in this blog a few months ago.

Tenth Avenue North sings, "I Have This Hope in the depth of my soul.  In the flood or the fire, You're with me and you won't let go."

It's a take on God's promise to Jacob in Isaiah 43 where he tells Jacob, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you;  I have called you by your name; You are Mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." 

This feeling of safety is familiar to me.  I remember where I was when Mama Ruth died.  Menielle and I had been sent to Bamo and Dandy's house in San Angelo to stay while our mom's took care of their mother.  When the phone call came I remember the both of us climbing up into the recliner with Dandy.  We were 10ish, so that chair was full. John Petty put his big arms around us and just held us.

The message for me is that my strength does not matter.  Even when I can't hold on, it's God's strength we're talking about here. 

And that, my friends, is infinite.

Today, I'm praying for the sweet family of William and Cori Moore, and for the comfort and peace of Deborah & Barney.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Jodie

Sunshine in My Soul

Just leaving the oncologists office after hearing reports from the genomic testing and bone density test. "NO benefit to be gained from chemotherapy" is the word! Only 7% chance of recurrence over 10 years.

I'll start estrogen blocker therapy with a daily pill and checkups every 3 months once we know there are no intolerable side effects.  I'll just consider those hot flashes the direct result of sunshine in my soul!  💝☀️

"The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail.They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, therefore I have hope in Him.” Lamentations 3:22-24

Clearing Skies

This morning's bone density test was the LAST scan in this parade of tests & scans!  I'm confident that starting the estrogen blocker on Feb. 28 will be the equivalent of Happy Trails for this ride we've been on since December.

Somewhere in the echo of our shouts of thanksgiving is a nagging question:  Why not me, Lord? Why was I spared the rage of this disease and its treatment while others we love are facing much worse?

I don't know the answer.  I only know that I have a new understanding of fear and doubt and what it takes to conquer them.  May we never forget all the things people have done for us and the thunder of prayer on my behalf.  May we never miss an opportunity to lift up someone else.  May I never forget the depth of committment and love of my family & friends - especially from Lawton and Menielle.

I believe God's plan for me is to show someone else that He is the safe harbor in the eye of the storm.

From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for your prayers, love and care!

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you Peace."  Numbers 6:24-26

Answered Prayers

"If you abide in Me, and My words, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." ~ John 15:7

We met today with the oncologist to talk about the possibility of chemotherapy to follow the mastectomy and removal of lymph nodes two weeks ago.  Dr. Bartosh wants a special test to predict the chance of recurrence before she will sign off, but we are 95% certain that chemotherapy will NOT be our next step.

After a bone density test, Dr. Bartosh is most likely to prescribe estrogen blocking medicine which will keep any other tumors like mine from forming and growing.  I can't say I look forward to all that this protocol will bring, but I know prayers have been answered in a mighty way.

I plan to return to work at the end of next week.  I'm hoping Amy will adopt a new pajama policy so I can continue my current style of dress.

If nothing rips or tears, Feb. 28 will be the end of this faith-building chapter in our lives, and we will have only a few checkups left to tie up loose ends.  And then we will begin to pay it forward in whatever way God shows us.

Your prayers are sustaining us and showing us the light of Christ in each of you.

I Have This Hope

Yesterday was a full day for us (well, mostly for me since Lawton doesn't have to stop and sit down every 15 steps).  I had a checkup with Dr. Habash, and my new friend Sarah Jo (the P.A.) removed the one remaining incision drain that came home from the hospital with me.  It was like being let off my leash!  Not that I could run very far afterwards, but it signified big progress!

Next Thursday morning, I'll go back to Dr. Habash's office to remove the last cover from the major incision across my tummy and start some therapy to minimize the scar while it heals completely.  That same afternoon, I have an appointment with an oncologist who will (hopefully) sign off on the "no chemotherapy needed" part of God's plan for me.  In the meantime, I'll try to regain my strength and stamina by walking farther each day with the goal of going back to work uppermost in my mind.

There seems to be no end to the kindness of our family and friends as meals, cards, flowers and visits keep coming.  To say we are humbled and eternally greatful would be such an understatement.

We continue to ask for God's favor in good reports, and today we ask that you add Taylor & Shea Smith's twin newborn boys to your list as they gain strength and health. Our cousin, Susan Draper, is also in need of your prayers after spinal surgery in Houston.  I know there are so many other needs in our circle of friends and family.  Just know that we are returning the favor you've so kindly done for us in offering our prayers for those needs.

I made a new friend while walking through this "fire" called cancer.  Cara Wilson inspires me to hope and turn my face toward the sun God gives me each day.  She turned her loss into a ministry of helping people like me.  And help me she has...

Faith and Family Give Ranch Manager Strength to Fight Cancer

Last night Cara posted a link to this song...I imagine her face and the faces of her children while I listen to the words.

I Have This Hope - Tenth Avenue North

10,000 Reasons To Be Thankful

Almost one full week past surgery date, the news we got today from Dr. Kent is that all three lymph nodes removed for biopsy during the surgery are clear of cancer cells.  Although I have to see an oncologist to make the official ruling about chemotherapy, we do not anticipate anything but concurrence from her about this report.

And since all the personality-enhancing drugs are gone from my system, I got my posting privileges back!  

You'll be glad to know that I am a newly-certified expert on ridding cats from your hospital room should you have the same feline invasion that I did.  I am only dependable (reportedly) to tell half of a great story without interrupting it for a quick nap.  I've elevated at least one of my friends to the status of dear friend after subjecting him to a bout of sudden puking.

Wednesday's checkup with Dr. Habash, the plastic surgeon, will hopefully rid me of the drain tube in my largest incision.  It will also relieve Lawton of constantly asking "where you goin'?" every time I try to stand up without help.  It's a good thing Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!

I'm counting the meals, visits, cards, calls, emails, hugs and prayers...and I truly do have 10,000 reasons to be thankful.  About 1,000 of those reasons are bundled up in my stalwart, patient, constant, kind, loving husband.  Where, oh where, would I be if life brought me cancer before God brought me you?

10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord) - David Wesley

DONE (post by guest blogger, Menielle)!

I am a day late posting about our day yesterday.  Getting the blog updated was NOT our priority yesterday.

Lawton, Jodie, Harry & Carron Brown, Cori & I arrived at the hospital at 5 am.  We all got to go back with her while she got her IV, etc.  We circled up & Harry said a sweet prayer for Jodie AND all those that would be caring for her during her surgery.

Surgery started about 7:15.  Dr. Kent (surgeon) came out about 9:45 to tell us that her part of the surgery was complete.  She told us they removed 2 lymph nodes that appear to be clear.  They will be sending them in just to double check, We were THRILLED by that news.  Even though that's what everyone anticipated, it was a sweet reality!  Dr. Habash (plastic surgeon) came out a few minutes before 11 to say that he was finished.  He also gave a good report.  He was able to complete his reconstruction part of the surgery completely, so she should not have to have any further surgeries done.

Prayers of thanksgiving were said (in the waiting room AND around the country)!

A great crowd of friends & family gathered in the waiting room.  Lawton took this picture of the well-wishers.

She was in recovery for about 1.5 hours then on to a room in the Women's Hospital.  Doctor came back by to check on Jodie & said things were looking good.  Nurses came in each hour to check incisions, change dressing, etc.

Before the day's end, they had her sitting up in a chair for about 30 minutes & she got some a tray of clear liquids & a popsicle (not exactly what she wanted, but it's all they'd give her).

There were some funny moments as she was waking up from anesthesia, but we promised not to share everything...& I'm going to keep my word.  Be assured, the ever-present sense of humor was left completely intact.

All in all, we are calling it a good day.  And now...let the HEALING begin!!

Go Time!

"Today is the day which the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

My team is mighty and led by this angel from Heaven.  I'm not often without words except when it comes to expressing my gratitude and love for my "agent".  

Surgery time is 7 a.m. and should take 4-5 hours. Menielle will update you from here until I am out from under the influence of personality-enhancing drugs and can be trusted with digital media again!💕

The Lord Bless You

At the top of the list of blessings in my life has been our "falling in love" with the family at Johnsville Church of Christ.  It's the little white church in the painting you've all seen.  It's situated about halfway between Bluff Dale and Hico.  Inside those doors are some of the most genuine, humble, loving, accepting people in God's kingdom.

But what drew us there to begin with was Lawton's chance encounter with Harry & Carron Brown who came to the dealership to buy a car.  In hindsight, I don't believe it was a chance encounter but the hand of God guiding our paths to cross.  To say we adore them is an understatement.  They have become our real family simply by opening their arms, their home and their hearts to us.

If finding these dear friends weren't enough, we are fed some of the best spiritual nurishment we've ever had.

I can't describe Harry Brown's sermons in such a way as to show them to you clearly enough.  He's a storyteller.  With every word from his mouth, Harry explains Jesus, His plan for us, His sacrifice for us, His love for us.  Harry shows us our place in a world we don't understand and can't support.  He reminds us of the goal, and he has never sugar-coated how things might be until we reach it.

Our times around the lunch table with Harry & Carron are rich with stories and conversation that reveal a little more of their heart and soul each time we're with them.  I'm amazed at the lives they've led and the experiences that lie behind them in their journey to us.  Our conversations usually touch on or sometimes center around their musical talent and the love we have in common for sweet harmony and gospel music.

Harry's sermon today was "The Lord Bless You" based on Numbers 6:22-27.  I knew when Kenneth Lesley handed me the outline at the front door that this sermon was especially for me.  I listened to my dear friend talk about the grace and peace afforded me through the love of God. Before the end of our time together, my church family prayed a special prayer for Lawton, for me and for all the angels and events coming our way this week.

As we held hands at lunch after church and gave thanks for each other and the food before us, I thought with delight of the promise of a home in Heaven, and I thought how wonderful it would be to live close to Harry & Carron.

Systems Check In Progress

Friday seemed like a milestone.  I straightened my desk and packed what I would need to help me keep up with ongoing projects that can't be put on hold. I hugged the friends I won't see for a few weeks and left the building.  It was a relief to know I can focus now on the battle at hand instead of what needs to be organized, scheduled, finished or delegated.  I burned up a lot of energy worrying about things that, in reality, will go right on happening in capable hands.

It's hard to know what's the most important thing to chronicle here.  You can't begin to imagine the concern and prayers we've been blanketed with over the last few weeks.  Cards, hugs, survival stories, prayers from friends & family, prayers from complete strangers (until now), prayers from far away and close to home.  If every person who says they are praying for us really does it, I believe the doors to the Throneroom are rattling like there's an earthquake.

I have some of the prettiest new pajamas I've EVER owned (thank you, Cori and Carron).  I have a tiny new recliner to sleep in after the hospital stay, and when I came home from running errands today, there were pink ribbons on my neighbors' trees all the way down our block.  Pink bands around mailboxes.  Pink ribbons on our trees & mailbox.  We are indescribably blessed to live among such wonderful people.

My boss, who is first and foremost my dear friend, never blinked at all the times I ducked out for a doctor's appointment...and there have been a ton of them.  She trusts me not to leave her hanging, and I work hard to honor her trust! Amy Wood has been my friend for 25 years.  We have survived sick babies, ill-timed, stressful moves, deaths, divorces and various insecurities of life.  And she will help see me through this one as she has done many times before.

I got my "marching orders" when I registered yesterday at Baylor Scott & White Fort Worth and gave up another couple of vials of blood.  I know where to go first and what will happen once I get there (if we can keep our eyes open at the 5 a.m. arrival time).  Surgery is set for 7 a.m. and should take about 5 hours between the two surgeons.  I'll stay for 2 or 3 nights.

I'm not afraid of the outcome of this ordeal.  I dread the journey, but I trust that God's promise to Jacob in Isaiah 43:1-2 is also meant for me.

"But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel, Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God..."

Only one more pre-op visit on Monday.

5 a.m. Tuesday can't get here soon enough.

Trust in You - Lauren Daigle

One Day at a Time

My extraordinary husband had a birthday yesterday.  He would interject here that he is two years younger than I. He is also many years smarter than I.

Lawton Langford squeezes every drop of joy and happiness out of each day he lives.  Lawton is not a worrier (in such a way that you can see it). He had a birthday of sorts several years ago after surviving a heart attack and gaining 5 new plumbing pipes for his wonderful heart.  That kind of experience necessitates a new outlook on life, and he embraced it.  I truly believe he lives each day the way God directed all of us to live.  I also believe that Lawton is not afraid of what any "tomorrow" might bring.  I'm inspired by his firm faith and steadfast love.

We (Tommy, Menielle, Us) celebrated Lawton's birthday at a great Habachi restaurant and followed it up with Menielle's pecan pie and some rousing conversation that has become so easy in this blessed friendship we have.

Although the earlier part of the day involved yet another appointment and scan, it was one of the first evenings in weeks without talk of cancer.  In Matthew 6:34 we're told not to worry about tomorrow.

And that's just what we did.

One Day at a Time - Merle Haggard

Good Good Father

Our prayers and yours have been answered in a powerful way.  Today's news from the surgeon: NO cancer in the right breast and NO sign of trouble in the lymph nodes that were visible in the MRI. Surgery date to remove the left breast is set for Jan. 24.

Please continue to pray for Dr. Kent and Dr. Habash and all the nurses who will take care of me to make this surgery uneventful!  Please keep praying for peace of mind for Lawton and Wade, and please thank our Lord for knitting our wonderful families and precious friends together into this amazing fortress that withstands the forces of doubt and fear.

Thank the Father for my friend Carron Brown whose experience with this terrible disease made her the perfect guide, helping me be calm in the face of so much that is foreign to anyone who has not walked the path and answering the hundreds of questions I have.

And...thank Him for my sister from another mother.  Menielle continues to carry me through every minute of this bad dream. I don't know, nor do I want to know, where I'd be without her.  Not just today. All my life. No words can describe my debt of love to her.

The verse of the day on my Bible app today was John 15:7.  Surely it was directed squarely at us!

"If you abide in Me, and My words, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."

Good Good Father - Chris Tomlin

One Step Closer

Since the link to this blog went out offering an avenue for walking this path with us, the flood of love & prayers has warmed us inside and out!  Lawton's family has the kind of "tie that binds" equal to my Drapers. They are a praying, singing, loving family, and they are circling the wagons to stand with us.

Here are a couple of really cool bits of information that you may not know.

• Lawton's mother, Glenna Hunt Langford, was a Cadet sorority sister at Abilene Christian College of my mother, Mary Draper Fleming.
• Lawton's sister, Laurie Langford Bryan, was my roommate at ACU.
• Lawton's cousin, Rachelle, married my childhood friend, Charlie Cook (so he's now my cousin :-).  Jan and Milburn Cook were friends of our family since before Charlie and I were even born.
• Lawton's aunt & uncle James and Janet (Hunt) Wesson live in Snyder.  When the Pat Brecheens left Snyder in 1965, the Wesson's bought our house and live there still.

I am especially, sincerely grateful for some very special women who have called to encourage me with their own testimony of healing.  Marianna, Montie, Nancy and my new Aunt Janet are living proof that this cancer can be whipped.  Their experience is worth pure gold to me.

There are two other women who are living this bad dream with me whose incredible support you just won't believe.  More about them later.

Tomorrow I meet with the plastic surgeon who will do the reconstruction part of my surgery.  He will order an abdominal scan to be completed next week.  After Friday's MRI and this last scan, the two surgeons will put their heads together and pick a surgery date.

I've decided this is a lot like buying/selling a house.  The process never moves fast enough to suit me.

Quote of the week:  "Drapers are tougher than cancer!" ~ Nancy Turner

Love to you all!